Self awareness and self improvement are one of a key aspects of one's personality.
It not only brings confidence in your actions but also keeps you more justified in your own view.
During my own efforts of self improvement I found that my thrive to be perfect itself has been the biggest obstacle.
When I had the view that I am good only if I did things perfectly; brings a desire that no one should criticize my actions. If anyone does that, it brought both dissatisfaction within me and anger towards who did such a comment. Both of these together led to many more negativeness inside me.
The immediate feeling is that no-one is perfect and every one should allow to cultivate calculated shortcomings inside them.
Even the morally high, Indian god RAM, allows himself of some short-comings (like, killing Bali without any of his mistake etc.)
One should not be self critical that he/she get in trap of guilt within him.
Below is another way to look at it and i find it more appealing.
My experience and analysis of my feelings during such situations tell me below:
"I am just a desire to do good things."
This desire stays at the very root of our emotions, and everyone must be having it.
This desire itself seems to me the driving reason of all our deeds, it drives very well and clearly during our early child-hood days. But later it gets maligned and we are become more and more confused of what to do and not.
With confusion, its not every time we are able to do things they way it suits us, but rather to fit it to the customs or other ways. During this slowly we change our focus from "Me being a desire to I AM INHERENTLY GOOD". Post this we start doing some things to support that "I AM INHERENTLY GOOD" like:
We create a library of my good deeds, and also start viewing others deeds from a lens which suits us. This library is actually a boundary of things that suit us, and we start discarding opinions and people who-even fall out of it. On my will I throw residents out of this boundary and sometimes I bring in new inmates. The unchanging aspect is me standing correct in my own view.
If you analyze it well, this boundary is the ego, this is what tells you that the opinions or people outside it are not me.
And you know what, the center of it, the belief: "I am just a desire to do good things." is the self respect. I hope people are actually getting the difference of that self respect is and what ego is.
Later on this turns on to a belief that whatever i did, that has certainly benefited someone or the other, either physically, materialistically, emotionally or at time boost in pride. With all this we have forgotten to see things as they are than, the way they suit us.
Later on this brings on a adamant view towards life, that the way i have seen things, are only right.
One interesting observation i have seen, i have also seen this being discussed in some spiritual talks is:
Zeal or passion is inversely proportional to stereotype opinions and being adamant. This essentially means that as we age, if there is a decrease in our zeal/passion there is an increase in stereotype thinking and adamant approach towards that.
If we leave that boundary of ego and realize that i am just the desire, and its the only thing i need to focus upon can bring a radical change in our lives, i am still trying to implement that and i assure you its not easy. You will face your ego yourselves, and that won't easy to tackle. Ego will present all situations as an attack to your self respect. PATIENCE to wait for something good at the end of your ego being crushed will be only tool you need to beat your ego, and realize the difference between EGO and SELF-RESPECT
"ASHTAVAKRA GITA" is an amazing conversation, and i recommend this to all seeking self improvement. A verse in it says:
!!Dharmadharmau sukham dukkham manasani na the vibho.!!
!!na kartasi na bhoktasi mukta-eva asi sarvada!!
Meaning: Dharma , Adharma, comfort and discomfort are of the mind not to you! You are neither the doer nor the enjoyer/victim. You are Ever Free.
It comes as a golden line for me and presents the true essence of all the Vedas, puranas and all spiritual talks.
It teaches me true vairagya, doing my daily duties, let's me understand that what I am doing is not for me or my body or family, its for the element of LORD VISHNU inside me, who won't let me stand myself if u don't keep up to him.
With this change in perspective, I am more involved in social activities and keeping myself happier than ever,
I have got my thin line between ego and self-respect, now its easy for me to take help from anyone without feeling awkward (be live me it wasn't easy earlier), and also to extend help to anyone, to be firm on your decisions and also be able to convince those who are against that stand.
I guess some of it is understood in its essence by the reader and is of some use.
Always seeking guruji's blessings.
!! JAI GURUDEV !!
It not only brings confidence in your actions but also keeps you more justified in your own view.
During my own efforts of self improvement I found that my thrive to be perfect itself has been the biggest obstacle.
When I had the view that I am good only if I did things perfectly; brings a desire that no one should criticize my actions. If anyone does that, it brought both dissatisfaction within me and anger towards who did such a comment. Both of these together led to many more negativeness inside me.
The immediate feeling is that no-one is perfect and every one should allow to cultivate calculated shortcomings inside them.
Even the morally high, Indian god RAM, allows himself of some short-comings (like, killing Bali without any of his mistake etc.)
One should not be self critical that he/she get in trap of guilt within him.
Below is another way to look at it and i find it more appealing.
My experience and analysis of my feelings during such situations tell me below:
"I am just a desire to do good things."
This desire stays at the very root of our emotions, and everyone must be having it.
This desire itself seems to me the driving reason of all our deeds, it drives very well and clearly during our early child-hood days. But later it gets maligned and we are become more and more confused of what to do and not.
With confusion, its not every time we are able to do things they way it suits us, but rather to fit it to the customs or other ways. During this slowly we change our focus from "Me being a desire to I AM INHERENTLY GOOD". Post this we start doing some things to support that "I AM INHERENTLY GOOD" like:
We create a library of my good deeds, and also start viewing others deeds from a lens which suits us. This library is actually a boundary of things that suit us, and we start discarding opinions and people who-even fall out of it. On my will I throw residents out of this boundary and sometimes I bring in new inmates. The unchanging aspect is me standing correct in my own view.
If you analyze it well, this boundary is the ego, this is what tells you that the opinions or people outside it are not me.
And you know what, the center of it, the belief: "I am just a desire to do good things." is the self respect. I hope people are actually getting the difference of that self respect is and what ego is.
Later on this turns on to a belief that whatever i did, that has certainly benefited someone or the other, either physically, materialistically, emotionally or at time boost in pride. With all this we have forgotten to see things as they are than, the way they suit us.
Later on this brings on a adamant view towards life, that the way i have seen things, are only right.
One interesting observation i have seen, i have also seen this being discussed in some spiritual talks is:
Zeal or passion is inversely proportional to stereotype opinions and being adamant. This essentially means that as we age, if there is a decrease in our zeal/passion there is an increase in stereotype thinking and adamant approach towards that.
If we leave that boundary of ego and realize that i am just the desire, and its the only thing i need to focus upon can bring a radical change in our lives, i am still trying to implement that and i assure you its not easy. You will face your ego yourselves, and that won't easy to tackle. Ego will present all situations as an attack to your self respect. PATIENCE to wait for something good at the end of your ego being crushed will be only tool you need to beat your ego, and realize the difference between EGO and SELF-RESPECT
"ASHTAVAKRA GITA" is an amazing conversation, and i recommend this to all seeking self improvement. A verse in it says:
!!Dharmadharmau sukham dukkham manasani na the vibho.!!
!!na kartasi na bhoktasi mukta-eva asi sarvada!!
Meaning: Dharma , Adharma, comfort and discomfort are of the mind not to you! You are neither the doer nor the enjoyer/victim. You are Ever Free.
It comes as a golden line for me and presents the true essence of all the Vedas, puranas and all spiritual talks.
It teaches me true vairagya, doing my daily duties, let's me understand that what I am doing is not for me or my body or family, its for the element of LORD VISHNU inside me, who won't let me stand myself if u don't keep up to him.
With this change in perspective, I am more involved in social activities and keeping myself happier than ever,
I have got my thin line between ego and self-respect, now its easy for me to take help from anyone without feeling awkward (be live me it wasn't easy earlier), and also to extend help to anyone, to be firm on your decisions and also be able to convince those who are against that stand.
I guess some of it is understood in its essence by the reader and is of some use.
Always seeking guruji's blessings.
!! JAI GURUDEV !!
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